How many restarts left?

Fourteen years later

"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"

Time, Pink Floyd

How Many Restarts Left (2010)

The darkness come across

And my light is going out

What more can I lost?

When my mind is filled with doubt

If I never try I'll never know

But I'm trying and change

Shouldn't be that slow

How many restarts left?

I don't want to spend

My life as a test

How many restarts left?

I don't want to spend

My own life as a guest

I will wait for the snow

Hoping that it will make all more easy

I will wait for the snow

And you can wait with me

Would you please me?

How many restarts left?

Second entry on my first moleskine (2010)

         And although 2011's To Fanny was the first lyric I'd posted on the blog, How many restarts left? Was made a year or so before. What can I say? Sometimes there are structures that resonates for a long time as “If you never try you'll never know” from Coldplay's Speed of Sound and Fix You. That's the kind of thing one would lose in translation. In Portuguese, it could go down to 'se não tentar não saberás' and at the same time it would not be an obvious homage to Chris Martin as I wanted.
          A friend of mine had the phrase quantos recomeços mais in her msn messenger and it made me think about a lot life. That sensation of life just passing by. As you're not yourself, you know? I find it kind of sad to be experiencing it. You feel sad and it makes you creative! What is possible to do with the result? Sometimes a drawing sometimes a song.
          As most of my recordings it is only an acoustic guitar and my voice but in this case I'd tried to use a mellotron vst plugin inspired by some Chili Peppers's songs as Sir Psycho Sexy and Tearjerker trying to build an atmosphere. These arrangements were crafted two years after I've wrote the song - hence why the file dates 2012.  If I can recall it was never been played live and I don't really know if it was ever a thing. Sometimes I feel the need to encapsulate feelings and that's it. Maybe someday I'll be able to overcome a shyness that is criminally vulgar...